Number 2: Happy People
This one is huge. If you have ever been close to a narcissist, which I know you have been, you have probably felt this, even if you could not explain it at the time. You have a good day, right? You accomplish something huge, something you’re proud of. You laugh with friends. You glow with happiness. And suddenly, the narcissist goes cold. Or they start criticizing you. Or they start some drama to ruin your mood. And you wonder, did I do something wrong? Did I say something horrible? Did I trigger them somehow? Should I tone it down? Should I shut myself down? No, you should not.
What you are witnessing is their secret hatred of happy people, of joyful people. You see, narcissists live in a state of inner misery. They’re miserable people. Like I said, their so-called joy is performative. Their smiles are fake. Relationships are hollow, and their victories, what are they? Shallow. Deep down, they’re haunted by shame, envy, and a sense of worthlessness. So, when someone comes along radiating genuine happiness, what does it do to them? It burns them. Your joy is a mirror that reflects their inner darkness. Your laughter reminds them of what they cannot truly feel. Your light exposes their shadows.
So, they attack, sometimes directly, other times subtly. A backhanded comment here, a dismissive tone there, a sudden withdrawal of affection, anything to bring you down. Because, in their world, light must be extinguished. They cannot allow it to exist around them. Why? Because your happiness is existentially threatening to them. It makes their false self feel fragile. It reminds them of everything they lack. And that triggers the deep, unhealed wounds they spend their lives trying to avoid.
That’s why being around a narcissist so often feels like walking on eggshells. You learn, sometimes unconsciously, to dim your light, to make yourself smaller, right? To suppress your joy so they won’t be triggered. But that is not your responsibility. And the more you understand this dynamic, the more you will realize their hatred of your happiness is about them. It’s not about you.
You may also want to read this:
Why Narcissists Humiliate Their Partners in Front of Others?
12 Reasons why going NO CONTACT will drive Narcissists Crazy
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