Reason 5: Spiritual Reckoning and Awakening
The deepest reason you were the narcissist’s karma is that you were their spiritual reckoning, the location where all their decisions, activity, and energy returned to them in the shape of an experience that they couldn’t sidestep, manipulate, or manage. You carried with you the collective pain of all they had ever harmed, not consciously, of course, but energetically.
Your physical body vibrating to their manipulation was your spiritual response to accepting the accumulated hurts they had inflicted on others. When they were hurting you, they were feeling through you every painful instant they’d ever inflicted.
Your angry outbursts at what they were doing were not weakness; they were God’s method, the universe’s method, of making them see in full the seriousness of what they’d done. Each tear you cried was a tear some other individual had cried because of them. Each second of bewilderment you felt was bewilderment they had actively sown in other folks’ minds. You were their karma mirror, holding up to them all the emotional cost of their actions.
The magnitude of your suffering was proportional to the magnitude of suffering they had inflicted in their lifetime. You were not just feeling your suffering; you were carrying the cumulative suffering of all their victims. That is why the suffering was so exaggerated and out of proportion. You were carrying more than your load; you were carrying theirs.
While they were giving you your spiritual reckoning, they were also stimulating your spiritual awakening. They were so toxic, so anti-love, that they made you doubt all that you thought you knew about relationships, human nature, and what is real. If this is how you feel, tell us in the comments. Their manipulation had you grow spiritually discerning. Their deception had you discover your truth. The way the narcissist treated you broke your previous assumptions about love, trust, and the kindness of humans.
But this breaking had to be done so that you can develop spiritually. You were instructed in trusting your instincts through their painful betrayal. You learned inner strength that you never knew you had through their emotional abuse. You found your inner sun through their efforts to extinguish your light.
Unwittingly and against their will, they were your dark knight of the soul, the catalyst that propelled you deeper into your spiritual self. As you were their karma, compelling them to face their spiritual deficit, they were your initiation into your spiritual power.
I’m not even giving them credit. Try to see what I’m telling you in the right context. If you’re flourishing, if you’re rebuilding you and your life, you will understand what I’m telling you. These facts have nothing to do with the human nature of the narcissist; it’s something that they couldn’t help. All of this was happening because it was supposed to happen. You were going to hurt so much in this relationship.
I’m sharing all of this because I have been coming to realize so much of it myself the past few years, and in no way do I wish to thank that narcissist or call them. I know many of you are still faced with co-parenting and have not yet found complete freedom from them. Maybe they are positively working against you, so it’s hard to be what I’m telling you. But either way, in due time, as you progress in your spiritual life, if you’re a spiritual person, you will realize that this was necessary.
I’ll give you an example in life: if I didn’t go through what I went through, how was I able to speak about all these things so deeply and show up on time every day to serve others? That’s my purpose for you. Challenge you to find yours. Even if you are mad, sad, or think there is no purpose for your suffering, it’s okay for now. Take what I’ve told you here with you. Think it through and let it grow within.
There you have it, then. That’s the end of this episode. Thanks ever so much for watching and listening. I shall see you next time. Until then, as ever, let the healing begin.
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