5. Misogyny and Revenge
The monster was trained to see you as a threat, not as a partner. He did not learn emotional safety from women; he learned emotional chaos. His mother did not teach him how to respect women; she taught him how to fear them. That’s quite ironic. Every time she used silent treatment, slammed doors, played the victim, or manipulated him with guilt, he made a mental note: women are dangerous. And now he treats you the way he wished he could have treated her, controlling, silencing, and dominating.
That’s called projecting the mother wound onto you. That’s one of the many roots of misogyny. He micromanages how you dress, accuses you of cheating when you are five minutes late, and threatens to leave when you express a boundary. Why? Because control is the only way to feel some sort of safety in his twisted world. Understanding a woman means opening his heart, and he did that once to his mother, and it nearly destroyed him.
So he does not try to understand you; he tries to manage you, cage you, and own you. That’s why he gives gifts like trophies. That’s why he creates a lifestyle of dependency and makes you feel like you can’t survive without him. Because if you are free, he’s vulnerable. And if you are vulnerable, he is reminded of how small he once felt. So he makes alliances, not love, because somewhere deep down, he believes all women are just versions of his mother, emotional hurricanes dressed as caretakers.
And that’s why he destroys you. People often ask why narcissists hate women so deeply, why this misogyny, yet chase them obsessively. This is why: it’s not about love; it’s about revenge revenge for the mother who turned him into some sort of demon, a zombie, instead of a son; revenge for the love he gave that was never returned initially; revenge for the childhood where he had to grow up too fast.
And now you are the mirror. He looks at you and sees her. He hears your pain and remembers hers. He feels your love and wants to destroy it because hers came with conditions. He does not know how to love you; he only knows how to conquer you because that is what he had to do to survive her.
So don’t ask yourself what you did wrong. Don’t ask why you could not fix him. The truth is, he was broken before you. It was not your fault. And me explaining all of this to you is not a justification; it is just an explanation of his abusive behaviors, just for you to know that this is not your creation. There is no inner child that can be healed here, and the only option for you is to leave because it’s something that you can never heal.
He chose this way. He chose to be this cruel, this crazy, this manipulative, this aggressive way before you came into his life, and now there is no going back for him. So I hope that helped you understand what’s going on with that.
Read More: You’re Narcissist’s Favourite Supply If You’ve These 10 Traits
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