Number 1: They will message and then quickly expect you to respond.
They are delusional because they expect you to be ever-present, which is impossible, but they don’t understand that. They are also impulsive and seek instant gratification. If you do not respond quickly, they will either delete the messages after sending them, which is an option available in all messengers and then that will make you anxious. That will confuse you. You will ask,” What was it? I’m sorry, I was not available,” and then they’ll drag it. They will make sure you get punished for ignoring them, for not responding quickly, for not answering them. They’ll make you cry. They’ll literally punish you in the worst way possible.
They will spam you like crazy. “Answer me! Where have you gone? So now, you are playing these mind games with me, aren’t you? Let’s see who cries first. Oh, you think you’re somebody? I am going to ignore you now. Answer me. Oh, now you’re cheating on me.” All sorts of crazy things. They won’t, they can’t understand that you may be busy with something, or you may not be in a position to talk with them.
They have to have you there, as I explained earlier, and these cryptic, spammy messages will then turn into non-stop calls, one after the other, 200 calls within 30 minutes. That is too much. That is overwhelming, and you will think, “What is this? How am I supposed to deal with this? What does this stand for?” Once you accidentally or finally respond to one of those calls or to those messages, what do you get? A shitload of abuse. Hell breaks loose, and they make sure you pay for your mistakes and for ignoring them.
Now, another thing that I want to make very clear is that context always matters. Somebody who is trauma-bound to a narcissist may display a similar form of behavior in that they may call the narcissist all the time, they may message a lot, they may seem to be a crazy person who has lost it if you were to just read those text messages. But the thing that’s going on is that this narcissist is abandoning them, and the survivor just wants something so that they can feel okay.
In that case, this trauma-bonded survivor cannot be called a narcissist, even if they are displaying the same behavior. Why? As I said, the context here is different. Their intentions are different. The behavior may be the same, but they’re operating from an entirely different place. The narcissist may also give you silent treatment, which can trigger you to know more, and then that might trigger you to call them a lot more than how much you call them normally, and you may text a lot. So, keep in mind that just because you may show a similar pattern or behavior does not necessarily mean you are a narcissist.
You may also want to read this:
This is How Narcissists React Every Day to No Contact
5 Signs You Have Hurt The Narcissist
10 Behaviors of MEN Abused By Narcissistic Wives
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