3 Never consider going to a therapist with them.
This is an oldie but goodie, never in your lifetime consider that you can go to therapy with them. I can guarantee you, there is no therapy anywhere, no therapist who is going to change your narcissistic parent, your narcissistic mate. No family therapy has been created yet to possibly alter the Dy DC.
There is only two that take place, one: either the therapist will unwittingly or wittingly sometimes become an enabler and they’ll get played by triangulation, or the therapist will stand up for what’s right to the narcissist, and they will take it to an extreme place literally, and they will discard them.
They’ll just walk away in pure anguish and sorrow. It is visiting a torture chamber when you go to therapy with a narcissist because you will be appalled at the act they will commit, by the act they’ll do. They will play victim of the circumstance and portray yourself as the abuser or try to elicit a worse reaction from you just to prove you’re the abuser and it’s all your fault.
4 Don’t be fooled by their desperate optimism.
Believe their hopeless optimism. Narcissists can indeed arrange things so that you feel as though there is promise, but the promise never materializes, never becomes a reality in your life. So don’t think about what you might be with them, whether it is your narcissistic partner or parent. Think about what you are with them because that is what counts, and what you are with them is always the same. It never changes. That is what is taking place with your situation.
Consider who you used to be when you first came across them, and how unhappy you are now, having waited all this while in the relationship. Consider all the hurts that you endured and consider how they destroyed your life. That is the changing thing taking place. Always remember, anyone’s words amount to nothing unless their words validate with what they are doing. Always look for the incongruencies, and lo and behold, you will find that a narcissist is nothing but an incongruency, a living, breathing one.
What does that really mean? That merely means who they appear to be, who they attempt to be, is not who they are. What they say is words only. It’s as if they mesmerize you by putting you somewhere, by putting you in some potential future where you can be with them, and that makes you hope that possibly it’s only their fantasy they are putting inside your head. Don’t let it become your reality. Know them for themselves, not who they’re making themselves out to be.
You may also want to read this:
7 Signs That A Narcissist Is Done With You
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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