Number 5: Perceived Laziness
You lie in bed for hours, and then you think you’re lazy. You beat yourself up for not being productive, for not doing enough, for sleeping too much, or doing too little. But what looks like laziness on the outside is usually grief on the inside. Grief for what? For your lost time, for who you had to become just to survive, for all the energy you had to spend pretending you were okay.
Your body is asking you to pause; it’s not betraying you. Because when you were in the relationship, there was no time to collapse, and now that the collapse is catching up with you, you’ve got to let it happen. You have to let it happen because you have to be reborn from your ashes. You have to rise like a phoenix.
Number 6: Panic During Peace
You panic when things are going well. Peace feels unfamiliar, safety feels like a lie, so the moment things calm down, your brain starts scanning for what is about to go wrong. You start questioning people’s intentions, you wait for the mask to drop, you look for signs of betrayal in places where there are none. It’s more than self-sabotaging; you’re not self-sabotaging, it’s not like you want drama, that’s what you were told. You’re bracing for impact because your nervous system has been taught that good moments do not last. You are preparing for loss. That is trauma, and naming it is the first step toward healing it. You’re not rejecting happiness or being pessimistic.
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