Number 7: Anxiety About Anxiety
You feel anxious about feeling anxiety. It’s a loop that’s hard to explain unless you have lived it. You get anxious, and then you get anxious about being anxious because it reminds you of what it felt like when you were spiraling, stuck, or emotionally hijacked by the narcissist. You fear losing control, you fear falling into that darkness again, so the tiniest wave of discomfort feels like a tsunami, and you start trying to fix it right away instead of just letting yourself feel.
It is functional brain damage that I have talked about a lot in action. It is your brain sounding the alarm before anything even happens because, once, the danger was real. It is your painful, referential experience patterns getting reactivated.
Number 8: Memory Issues
You either do not remember anything, or you remember too much. Your mind is either blank or flooded with memories. Some parts of your past feel completely erased, like they happened to someone else; other parts come back in sharp, unbearable flashes at random times. It is trauma memory, and trauma memory behaves differently than normal memory.
Your brain prioritized survival over storage. Some memories were overwhelming to hold, others were too important to forget, and your nervous system still does not know what is safe to recall. So you live in a strange space where you are haunted and hollow at the same time.
Read More: 5 Things a Narcissist Begs God for When You Leave Them
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