And here is how it hurts you the most: because they can be kind, you have seen it, haven’t you? You have watched them show up for others. You have witnessed them laugh, comfort, give, and hold space for people, so you know they are capable. They know what to do, but they choose not to intentionally not to give any of that to you. That is the heartbreak. That’s the betrayal.
At home, they’re emotionally bankrupt. They do not listen. They do not comfort. They do not reciprocate. They are not there when you cry. They are not there when you try to open up, and certainly not there when you finally break. They shrug at your pain, roll their eyes at your vulnerability, and act like your emotions are either annoying or manipulative. They give more compassion to a neighbor’s dog than they give to your heart. And when you finally build the courage to ask for what any decent partner or parent would offer without being told, they look at you with that cold face and say, “I do so much for others. Why is it never enough for you?”
They don’t say it because it’s true, no. They say it because it shuts you down. That’s what they want because it paints you as the problem and paints them as the giver, as the victim. That’s how they win. They flip the script, and suddenly, you are the perpetrator for needing love from the person who promised to give it. You end up questioning your sanity: Am I broken for wanting something as basic as affection or presence, or emotional safety? But no, you’re not broken. You are starving, and they are feeding the world by locking the fridge at home.
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