Now let us talk about how they manipulate, and you know where there is control, there can’t be a connection, it is not possible.
Narcissistic men don’t date because they’re in love; they date to conquer. They enter into relationships the way a predator enters a trap: charmingly, calculatingly, with a script. They observe you, reflect you, and make great shows of forever, but not ever for love. It’s to trap someone they can manipulate, subjugate, and discard later without shame.
You are not their partner; you are a function, a role, a supply, an idea, and an illusion. The more successful, loving, and compassionate you are, the more they want to destroy you. Why? Because in their twisted heads, destroying you makes them powerful, and power is all they care about.
In the previous section, I told you that they may be acting out their mother wound, but that’s only part of it. That misogyny is a conditioned phenomenon, a pattern across generations. You can observe how it goes down in narcissistic family cults, they have different bodies but the same mind. I refer to it as a “beehive mentality.”
Narcissists not only copy what their supply does but also what an older, more dominating narcissist in the family, possibly a father, a patriarchal figure, such as my father, does to women, just like his father did with women. He used the same lexicon and the same relations because he learned social psychology. And yet the wild thing is that most of these narcissistic men will not be parading around shouting, “I hate women.” They are not that crass.
Their misogyny takes on subtle forms and is socially acceptable. They’ll tell us, “Women are too emotional and sensitive,” or, “Oh, all of my exes were batshit crazy, you know how it is,” or, “Feminism destroyed society, destroyed women.” This one is excellent: “I just like women who know how to stay in their lane.” Their lane, you wonder? They complement traditional women who do the job they were created to do while belittling independent ones.
They play the role of protectors, but secretly enjoy women getting hurt. They will be the hero, but secretly the villain when nobody is looking. They probably get away with it, that’s the crazy thing, because their hate is so disguised in the form of a smile, of triumph, and sweet words that you get confused and not them. They have this other interesting characteristic called the Madonna-Whore complex.
They divide women into two groups, one of the more negative characteristics of misogynistic narcissists. They divide all women into either number one, the innocent, virtuous, pure Madonna type, someone whom they idealize but never sexually respect; or the whore type, someone whom they sexualize but never emotionally respect. You can never be both at the same time, and no matter what, you’ll always end up falling off the pedestal.
At first, you are celebrated as a goddess, but when you break their fantasy by speaking up with a need, a boundary, or a thought that challenges their delusion, you get pushed into the second category. This division in the mind lets them continue to date women but still have an inner narrative that women are inherently below them, not to be trusted, or good enough only for sex and ego stroking.
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