They return not because they have learned or wish to learn, but because they continue to believe they can overcome. And if you take them in again, the same happens, worse because they know where your boundaries are now, and now their anger assumes a different shading: “She let me do it again; she’s weak.” They return not for love; they return for control.
Now, if you have gone through something like that, then you must heal. Healing doesn’t involve repairing them, healing involves finding the truth. Being in a relationship with this kind of man makes you go through months, years, doubting what is wrong with you. You did nothing wrong. You worked harder, you became soft, smaller, quieter, more submissive, but it led to nothing because he did not want you; he wanted to overpower you.
Healing starts when you cease attempting to repair someone who never required repairing in the manner you imagined, when you accept his misogyny was by no means your cross to bear. You did not turn him sexist; he was that way when he was born. And the longer you remain there, the more you begin to despise yourself.
Read More: 8 Weird Symptoms of CPTSD in Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
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