Number 6: Sacred anger and inner turmoil.
The final one: the sacred anger that you now quietly must bear. You do not yell, as I mentioned, or lash out on the outside. Instead, your fury quietly bubbles beneath, and that is what becomes lost in routine and skin-level calm. You do daily tasks and fold laundry while in your heart replaying unfinished battles and unresolved arguments. You smile graciously at friends and acquaintances, all the while presenting a calm facade, while inwardly you shudder at suppressed rage.
You thank God for having escaped this relationship, while inwardly in your heart, you abhor every moment you spent on that psychic bondage. Such a contradiction. You look refined to others because you are you’re powerful. But within, you’re walking around as if you’re in a war zone, stepping over a battlefield. This quiet seething rage is holy, tempered by the realization of how completely you were desecrated by this narcissist and how you were manipulated on a deep emotional level.
Because, you know, you have to validate and confirm this rage at the deepest place you can because it can be a healing catalyst for your healing. But don’t at the same time internalize it, don’t blame yourself, don’t blame yourself for doing things that you didn’t do. Because I know that many survivors of narcissistic abuse tend to blame themselves all the time: “Why did I stay so long? Why didn’t I leave sooner? Why did I expose my children to this hell?” You didn’t. What you know now, you didn’t know then.
The type of freedom that you enjoy today was not even visualizable, not even conceivable, and not even understandable when you were in the trap. So, the first thing you should do is authenticate this rage completely because you are waking up from what I term a psychological coma. You are coming alive, and you’re going to experience different sensations in the body. It is going to be tough, given that you slumbered for decades, and your world changed. You are going to get new emotions, but it doesn’t mean you are going to punish yourself over something you haven’t done.
So, utilize this divine anger and wrath as inspiration. Utilize it the right way so that you channel it towards moving you ahead. You can’t blow it off on the narcissist because you know what comes next: your tantrum show makes them think they’re still in charge. You utilize your anger to become your best possible self and an absolute hellhole to the narcissist by doing your purpose.
Read More: 6 Hidden Ways Your Aura Shakes a Narcissist To Their Core
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