Number 4: Starve the Narcissist of Information
Intelligence agents limit what their enemies know because information is power. In this case, in dealing with a narcissist, you must apply the same principle. Do not overshare your intentions; do not share them in the first place, your plans, or feelings at all. Be deliberately vague in your responses because you will have to say something, especially when they try to probe deeper. Avoid explaining yourself, even when pressured.
Remember, narcissists use your explanations to manipulate or distort your words, don’t they? And then they use whatever you say against you. Whenever you are questioned about what is wrong or why you have changed or what you are thinking, respond with general, non-committal answers or gentle deflections, like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This approach deprives them of the critical emotional feedback and personal details they crave so desperately, leaving them uncertain and powerless.
This absence of clear information will frustrate and agitate them, possibly prompting increasingly desperate attempts to regain control, but you don’t have to give in. Recognize this escalation as evidence your if you are emotionally detaching, begin building a strong support network, quietly involving a therapist or a reliable friend who can offer ongoing emotional reinforcement and guidance. The same applies to you and your relationship with your children.
You don’t have to announce it; you don’t have to let the narcissist know that you are strengthening your relationship with the children. You just have to do it. You apply the same method that I just explained to you, but consider contingencies for unexpected scenarios, such as sudden confrontations or attempts by the narcissist to disrupt your plans or your peace.
The subtlety and secrecy of your preparations are essential to avoid sabotage. Your plan must be comprehensive, firm, and strictly confidential without leaks or second-guesses. You see what I’m saying? Once you commit to your exit or emotional detachment, follow through decisively and without hesitation, knowing clarity and safety lie ahead.
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