The Emotional Hell Loop
To a narcissist, failure isn’t just a small setback. It is a coverage crisis. They do not know how to separate what they do from who they are. So when they fail at something, whether it is a relationship, controlling you, a career move, or even something as small as losing influence over someone they remotely know, it feels like annihilation.
Not just “I failed,” but “I’m a failure.” That kind of thing. And that is terrifying for them. Remember, they built their entire self-worth on external validation. So, when people stop clapping, when things stop working in their favor, and when they can no longer manipulate the narrative, what do they do? They start to sink.
But instead of naming the feeling as sadness or grief, they mask it with arrogance or, worse, with rage. This is when their anger starts to mutate. It is no longer just the usual manipulative temper tantrums. This is something else. This is implosion, the kind of anger that has no clear target. So it hits everything, everyone, even themselves.
They become volatile, restless, desperate. Their mind becomes a battlefield of contradictions. They want attention, but they isolate. They want power, but they feel powerless. They want someone to understand them, but they refuse to show vulnerability. The result is an emotional hell loop that feels endless. And beneath all of it, there is this deep, unbearable hopelessness.
They realize, no matter how hard they try, they can’t get the old version of life back. The people who once admired them are gone. The relationships they used to control are broken. The opportunities they once had have vanished. And worst of all, they cannot admit why. Because doing that would require confronting the one thing they have avoided their entire life.
What is that? The truth. So what do they do with all this pain? They weaponize it, if they can. They begin to attack because they are drowning. That’s the only reason. Their anger becomes the last shield they have left. But even that won’t save them.
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