Number 9: Normalizing Emotional Neglect
Number nine, you normalized emotional neglect because pain feels familiar. You didn’t always receive emotional support when you needed it, maybe growing up, maybe later. You learned to bottle things, you learned to function through grief, to laugh while hurting, to keep going without ever being asked, “Are you okay?” So when the narcissist ignored your feelings, withdrew affection, and dismissed your needs, it didn’t feel foreign; it felt like home.
That’s when your trauma got activated. But you know, familiarity is not safety. Just because you have learned to survive without emotional care doesn’t mean you’re supposed to. You deserve the kind of love that does not make you beg for attention, that doesn’t make you feel suffocated, that doesn’t make you feel like you’re underwater and then you are let out only to breathe for a few seconds, and then they torture you again. That’s not how you’re supposed to live your life.
Number 10: Desire to Heal Others
Number ten, you want to be the reason someone heals, and that became your silent heartbreak. You saw their wounds, you saw their past, you saw the sacred child inside the monster, and your heart whispered, “Maybe I can help; maybe I can love them into wholeness.” This is not weakness how can it be? This is beyond empathy; I call it divine compassion. It is what makes you a healer, a guide, a light in the lives of others. But in this case, it became your prison.
So you stayed, not for you, but for who they could be. And in doing so, you betrayed the one person who needed healing the most: you. It was never your job to save them; that’s God’s work. Your job is to save yourself and trust that your love will never go to waste when given to someone capable of growth and receiving it.
Read More: 5 Ways a Narcissist Uses You to Hide Their Being G*y
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