Narcissism 101

10 Things to Expect When You Break Up With A Narcissist


When you’re ready to break up with a narcissist, you may be feeling excited, worried and maybe a little bit guilty. You’re probably feeling some relief and uncertainty about what’s next.

So, you’ve had enough of the narcissist and you’re ready to break up. What will happen when you tell them? How will they react? Here are 10 things to expect when you break up with a narcissist.

Number 1: They will be enraged by the breakup.

Narcissists are going to be mad at you for breaking up with them; they get furious and will make sure you will have the taste of everything that you did to them. Don’t be surprised that they will make threats against you or try to damage your reputation somehow. They will spread rumors about what an awful person you are.

Narcissists may even try to stalk or harass you after the breakup. The narcissist will be upset and enraged but not for long, they may act like they’re devastated by your breakup.

Still, they’ll bounce back quickly and find someone else to charm and manipulate into giving them what they want. And then dump them when they’ve already gotten bored with them too.

Be prepared for this possibility. So, it doesn’t catch you off guard when it happens, expect the worst from them. They’ll tell you that you’re the worst person for hurting them and hurting their ego by breaking up with them.

Number 2: Narcissists will blame you for everything.

It’s common for a narcissist to turn around and blame you for the breakup even if they initiated it. This is because narcissists are masters of manipulation and blame-shifting. So, they’ll often use their own words against them to make you feel bad about yourself.

If this occurs, remind yourself that it is not your fault. Instead, it is theirs. On the other hand, if you were the one who ended things, they will tell everyone that it was your entire fault.

This is because narcissists are incapable of taking responsibility for anything negative that happens in their lives, so they’ll always make themselves out to be the victim.

Number 3: Narcissists will try to win you back.

If the narcissist has invested a lot of time and energy into getting close to you, they’ll want it back when they realize they’ve lost it. Don’t fall for this trap, they don’t change their behavior let them go gracefully and focus on building your life without them. A narcissist will attempt to manipulate you into staying with them again.

They will say anything and do anything to convince you to stay with them, even if it means lying or making up stories about how much better off you would be if you stayed together. The longer and more significant your relationship has been- the stronger its hold on you may become after the breakup. It is essential not to give in to these tactics because doing so will only lead to more pain and suffering.

Number 4 Narcissists will never take responsibility for anything.

You’ll never hear a narcissist say “I’m sorry” Because they can’t imagine that they might be wrong about anything ever. They’ll always have an excuse for why something went wrong, it wasn’t their fault it was yours. They will not take responsibility for their part in the breakup, even if they constantly cheated or lied to you.

Narcissists don’t know how to apologize and mean it because they are not capable of empathy. They won’t have any remorse for hurting you, they just say whatever they think will make you feel better so they can escape the problem at hand.

Number 5: Narcissists will try to make you jealous.

They are often very insecure people; they try to make themselves feel better by making others feel worse about themselves. If you see your narcissistic ex talking about how happy they are with someone new, don’t fall for it. Your narcissistic ex is just trying to make you jealous so that they feel better about himself or herself again.

This is their way of saying “I’m still important”. It makes them feel better about themselves, so don’t give in. You can always tell them how great your life is going without them and show off all the new friends you’ve made since leaving them behind.

You may also want to read this:

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Number 6: Narcissists will continue to contact you after the breakup.

They will continue to contact you after the breakup; they may send you messages and texts in an attempt to get back together. And they often have trouble dealing with rejection, so they’ll try anything to win back your affection.

If this happens, do not respond. Instead, block their number and change all of your passwords so they can access your accounts. And then, delete their number from your phone and block them on social media channels. This is common for breakups with narcissists, they cannot let go. Narcissists still want to see you even though they don’t love you anymore.

They want to know what’s going on in your life even though they don’t care about yours. They’ll keep calling, texting, and emailing until they get tired of it, or find someone else to manipulate. And even after that happens sometimes they’ll come back again.

Number 7: Narcissists will try to turn your friends and family against you. ,

They love drama– and if there’s no drama happening in their own lives, they’ll try to create some so they can feel important again. They often have no qualms about lying to manipulate people into turning against their ex-partners even if it means hurting them.

When they’re feeling threatened by something or someone, they may try to use any information they have on you to use against you. Even if it happened before the two of you are dating, just to turn your friends and family against you.

Narcissists will often attempt to use their ex’s closest relationships as leverage against them to get back together or gain control over them again once they’ve broken up. This can take many forms from emotional manipulation to threats.

Number 8: They will threaten you to hurt themselves.

Narcissists might make threats or try to hurt themselves when you break up with them, they are so deeply in love with themselves that they think you are the only thing keeping them from being happy. So, when you leave, they can’t imagine why anyone would want anything else. The narcissist will tell you that they love you more than anyone else, but that’s not true!

They think that you are the only person who can meet their needs and make them happy even though this is not true at all. Narcissists have no real feelings for other people; they only care about themselves and what they want.

You may also want to read this:

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Number 9: They will make you feel guilty for breaking up with them.

You will experience a wide range of emotions; including sadness, anger, guilt, and relief. The good news is that these feelings are entirely normal and will pass in time. You should know that it’s normal to experience these feelings at once.

You’ll be sad because you’ve lost someone important to you and because this person wasn’t good for you and made your life worse in many ways, you’ll also be angry at the narcissist for hurting you and making your life so difficult for so long.

Narcissists will say things like “I thought we had something special” and “I’m so sad about this”. Even though it was their own doing that led to the breakup in the first place. Expect that they’ll try to make you feel guilty about breaking up with them.

You’ll feel guilty about hurting them by leaving them even though they hurt you first but also be relieved that they won’t be able to hurt you anymore either. This is a difficult emotional time that can take time to get through.

Number 10: They will make you question everything about yourself after the breakup.

When you’re in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, it’s hard to see yourself clearly because the person who matters most doesn’t love you for who you are. So, when they disappear from your life, it feels like they took all of your confidence with them. You might wonder if something was wrong with you that made them leave, but don’t worry! This feeling will pass eventually.

Try reaching out to friends and family members who know and care about you when it does. Breakups with narcissists are painful and confusing. When you break up with a narcissist, it can be difficult. You’re probably feeling all kinds of emotions like confusion, anger, and hurt.

You might have questions about how to move forward while you may experience some of these emotions, don’t focus on them. Focus on rebuilding your life and moving forward. Treating yourself well is a top priority.

Read more: How to Make Narcissists Regret Every Bad Thing They’ve Done?

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