Number 1: Over-Cleaning: Scrubbing Away the Trauma
Cleaning and scrubbing skin raw, there is cleaning, and then there is this: a desperate, unconscious urge to erase something that feels dirty, contaminated, or cursed. Survivors will spend hours scrubbing floors, reorganizing closets, or washing the same dishes over and over. But the most haunting behavior is in the bathroom, where they scrub their skin so hard that it turns red, where they go through bottles of body wash, where their shower turns into silent breakdowns. It’s about trying to wash away the invisible: the shame, the disgust, the touch that still lingers even after the narcissist is gone. They do not realize it, but their body is in protest. “Get them off me,” it says, and until the trauma is acknowledged, no amount of soap will ever be enough.
Number 2: Over-Apologizing: The Burden of Excessive Politeness
Over-apologizing and excessive politeness you say sorry for asking a question, you apologize for needing help, you even apologize when someone bumps into you. It is automatic, like a reflex you didn’t know you developed. Because that narcissist didn’t just punish your mistakes; they punished your existence. They made your voice feel intrusive, your presence feel like a burden, your emotions feel like an inconvenience. So, you overcompensate. You shrink. You become overly polite, overly soft, overly agreeable. Why? Because you were trained to survive. You start apologizing not just to others but to yourself: “I am sorry I feel this way. I’m sorry I need time. I’m sorry I’m not okay. I’m sorry I’m talking too much. I’m sorry I’m breathing.” And that is how the narcissist lives on in your vocabulary long after they are gone.
You may also want to read this:
7 Signs That A Narcissist Is Done With You
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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