1. Surrogate Husband
The first thing such a mother does is she makes him her surrogate husband. She tells him, “You are the man of the house.” That’s what she intends. He wasn’t raised; he was recruited. Instead of being held and nurtured, he was assigned roles of an emotional caretaker, a substitute partner, and a therapist, basically a defender. At an age where he should have been building Lego sets, he was listening to his mother cry about her broken heart, failed dreams, or ungrateful lovers.
And she called it love, but it wasn’t love. It was emotional incest. It was parentification. He was married to her pain long before he ever fell in love with a woman, and that’s why he cannot love you now. It’s not your fault because when you express a need, he feels like you’re pulling him back into the trap. He doesn’t see your tears; he sees hers. He doesn’t hear your needs; he hears the cries that haunted his childhood bedroom.
So he punishes you for being vulnerable, not because you hurt him, you never do, but because vulnerability reminds him of the cage his mother never let him leave. Now he resents every woman who leans on him emotionally. To him, love feels like labor. That’s why you feel alone even when he is lying right next to you.
You may also want to read this:
7 Signs That A Narcissist Is Done With You
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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