What drives egocentric people like narcissists to act the way they do? Most of us probably struggle to understand the inner workings of narcissists and their behavior. But everyone who has worked with or even just known a narcissist can attest to their annoyance. To prepare ourselves for the next segment, let’s start with a definition and history of narcissism.
Narcissistic personality disorder NPD is a mental and personality illness characterized by an exaggerated belief in One’s Own importance, an inability to empathize, and an unhealthy fixation on receiving compliments and being the center of attention. In many ways, the close friends and family of a person with this disorder may share the burden of caring for the person with this disorder. Why are there even narcissists?
Narcissism is a genuine and pervasive mental condition that develops as a result of trauma and poor experiences during early development. Some people’s ingrained narcissism can be traced back to a childhood marked by excessive pampering and the absence of discipline. When narcissists are young, they often have overly sensitive personalities.
Perhaps your parents had unrealistic expectations of you as a kid, or maybe your loved ones spoiled you rotten. It’s possible though, that they have good reason to act this way. There’s no denying that narcissists are capable of severe brutality and callousness; they frequently lash out at those closest to them in an effort to drag home the point that they hate themselves immensely. A narcissist may be convinced to trust you or overlook your defects if you offer them enough affection.
However, once you reveal your flaws to a narcissist, they may rapidly discard any value you might have. As soon as it becomes clear that you are a fallible human being, narcissists will stop talking to you and treat you with disdain. Here are six situations where narcissists’ cruelty became apparent.
Number 1. Narcissists are driven by an insatiable need to achieve.
In the narcissistic mind, there is no middle ground; everything is either perfect or completely flawed. A narcissist’s thoughts are filled with visions of grandeur, wealth, and beauty. Their purpose is to make everyone around them jealous, especially of those who already have what they want. Their twisted logic informs them that your success is a direct result of Their Own.
On the other hand, their anger at another person’s success may stem from their perception of a lost opportunity to win your favor and adulation. If you try to convince a narcissist of anything, they will ignore you. The Narcissist isn’t being competitive with you because they want to harm your feelings. They just don’t know what to do about themselves.
They have nothing to lose on the inside, so they act out on the outside. People that genuinely care about you will celebrate your achievements. Narcissists are the ones who change the script. They won’t be there to share in your joy over your accomplishments, and they’ll instead look for ways to poke holes in them. They’ll use their power over you to prevent you from succeeding.
Number 2. Narcissists have an inbuilt bias toward superiority complexes.
Even though they continually feel inferior, they tell themselves they are superior and better than others. Narcissists may boast and fabricate stories about what they’ve done, or they may ridicule, slander, make fun of, shame, or attack the victim.
Narcissists often act Superior to others in order to win their adoration and exert power over them. On the contrary, narcissists often look up to and even adore those they perceive to be helpful or strong. However, a narcissist has low regard for everyone but themselves. To narcissists, those who are hiding in the shadows, know better than the narcissists and are helpless wretches who deserve to be treated with contempt.
They justify their hatred of others by convincing themselves that they are inherently superior. They tend to think highly of themselves, and this includes the belief that they are superior to or more significant than other people. The narcissist will tell you that you’re cruel to them because they are the ones who deserve it. One of the possible reasons is because they find you fascinating or helpful.
Number 3. Narcissists are unable to cope with criticism.
They have difficulty processing negative feedback. Whether or not we can handle constructive criticism depends on our own level of confidence in this regard. Narcissists take criticism very seriously, even if they don’t show it. When confronted with constructive feedback, they often lose their cool and explode into tears.
The constructiveness or harmfulness of the criticism is irrelevant. It appears they are unable to take criticism well. If they are correct, you have no choice except to admit you were incorrect. They will take the situation further if you keep criticizing them without taking responsibility for your actions. They’ll put on pressure until you agree with them. They will turn to become your enemy and declare war on you if they are unable to force you.
It may be fruitless to try to help the narcissist learn from the situation if they react negatively to the criticism. Remember that they are totally self-absorbed, and the more you criticize them, the meaner they will get. To avoid conflict with someone who is preoccupied with themselves, how do you avoid them?
Number 4: Narcissists have a hard time forgiving themselves.
Rather than being motivated by self-love, a narcissist is often driven by a deep-seated hatred of who they are. However, it is commonly held that the victim should forgive the abuser rather than the other way around. Narcissists have to go through the pain of forgiving themselves. One of the two ways they deal with grief is by avoiding the subject. Either they dismiss the information as unimportant to their feeling of self-worth, or they add it to the mental inventory of things they’d rather keep secret.
It’s quite improbable that a narcissist will be able to tell the other apart. When you know what to expect from a narcissist, all you see is a hollow Persona. Because they lack a soul, they care nothing about anyone, not even themselves. Narcissists don’t care about forgiving others since their egos get in the way. They’ll never stop trying to hurt people because they’re obsessed with breathing in the toxins that other people release.
Number 5: Narcissists live in their own parallel universe.
The charisma and attractiveness of narcissists are undeniable. They have perfected the art of developing a sympathetic character through the use of a dramatic account of abuse or neglect. We appreciate their apparent self-assurance and drive. If we have a low opinion of ourselves, the sales pitch will seem more compelling.
They want us to believe that they can give us a sense of significance and vitality, but this is a trap. Self-absorbed individuals like narcissists can create interesting characters and plots. Personal stories of achievement, bravery, and even selflessness will captivate you. Things were different then, as you will see when you look back. If you peel back the layers, you’ll realize that these fantasies are what prevent them from realizing how hollow their lives really are.
This makes it simple to discount or explain away conflicting views or perspectives. The narcissist becomes defensive, if not hostile, in the face of any threat to his or her carefully crafted worldview. Everyone around them will learn to carefully avoid them because of their intransigence in refusing to acknowledge reality.
Number 6. Narcissists are emotionally disconnected from those around them.
This is why narcissists tend to be so heartless. They are not very empathetic people. The insensitivity of narcissists can be traced back to their lack of empathy. Those who are primarily focused on themselves, like narcissists, lack empathy and compassion. Instead, they start early on in life with an unhealthy and excessive focus on themselves. All of their wants are met by their parents, and it seems that this has led to them becoming adults who have little or no concern for the plight of people in their immediate social circles.
It is not your job to fill the void in a narcissist’s development. You must now realize that you were only at peace in a game that nourished their ego and that they would not respond to you emotionally in the same way that a regular person would. The personality qualities of narcissists prevent them from feeling compassion for others. For them to empathize with your situation, would mean putting you above their own needs and desires, which goes against their nature. It may be wiser to give it into the narcissist’s unpleasant personality and demands in order to avoid the narcissist’s rages and coldness, but this isn’t true.
Don’t kid yourself into thinking you be saved by doing that. You must accept the narcissist for who they currently are rather than for who you think they will become. Stop rationalizing harmful behavior and ignoring its negative effects. Denial won’t help because narcissists are notoriously hard to change. The real question is whether or not you can keep up with such a lifestyle without developing narcissistic self-beliefs. Focus on what you need to do. If you educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder, you’ll be more equipped to recognize and avoid toxic relationships as well as cultivate healthier ones.
Read More: That’s Exactly What The Narcissist Will Do To Their Significant Other
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