It takes a lot of discipline to enforce No Contact and to keep it going. But we need discipline even more for those times when we come face to face with the Narcissist. Because despite changing our phone numbers, changing jobs, moving houses, and blocking them on social media; unless we haven’t physically moved country and severed all connections with the Narcissist including any flying monkeys there is a possibility that you will encounter that Narcissist again.
Then there are those who must deal with shared custody with a Narcissist, working at the same job with the Narcissist, same gym, or at any other social event where seeing the Narcissist is inevitable. In these instances, how do we reduce the amount of Narcissistic Supply that we give? Or in other words, how can we stop a Narcissist from using us as fuel? We are going to explain what sort of interactions or modes of communication gives the most Narcissistic supply and what provides the least.
Minimize the Fuel you give
So today’s topic is all about Narcissistic Supply and how to minimize the amount we provide. This information should be useful for any current or past Narcissist- Because as we mentioned before in some articles, dealing with a past Narcissist is sometimes unavoidable. Running into an old Narcissist can sometimes feel like an ambush where they jump out of nowhere when you least expect it. But whatever the case, our objective should be to limit the amount of Narcissistic Supply that they can get from us.
What provides the most Narcissistic Supply?
The greatest amount of Narcissistic Supply a Narcissist can get is usually when they are physically in our presence, second to that would probably be a video call. But Narcissists love to be in close proximity to their victims. They always prefer face-to-face interactions as it allows them to manipulate more effectively.
And when we consider the fact that the Narcissist is hungrily looking for the smallest morsel of fuel they can find; be it in what we say, how we look at them, or our overall body language; they are able to garner more when we are physically within their reach. And the Narcissist is hoping that your emotional thinking and a need to be polite would drive you to acknowledge them and even have some form of basic interaction with them.
That is why Narcissists push to be where you are. They push for face-to-face meetings. They do their best to show up at places they know you frequent. Because the Narcissist knows it is easy for you to ignore their calls, emails, or text messages. But in person, it gives them a chance to overwhelm your senses once more and remind you of good times by how they look at you, smile at you, or even make you laugh.
On the other hand, they may be doing the most to provoke you to make you angry or lash out at them. All these things are meant to tap into your emotional energy and weaken your resolve. That is why if you happen to be in the same space as a Narcissist, your aim should be to avoid them.
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Tips to deal with Narcissists in a dialogue.
If you cannot or you have to deal with Tips to deal with Narcissists in a dialogue them because of child custody or any other important matters then here are a few tips:
1. Keep the dialogue to a bare minimum.
Don’t deal with them with a sense of familiarity, just keep it bland, and professional, and let them do all the talking if possible. But don’t allow them to pull you into any personal conversations. Just look to end it and walk away as soon as possible.
2. It is important to remain emotionless – Give them nothing.
Don’t look sad, upset, worried, or scared. There is also no need to verbally attack them or call them out as the bastards that they are because this will just feed the Narcissist and give them the confirmation that they have hurt you and you are still hurting.
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3. The third thing to keep in mind is that there is no need to seek explanations or closure.
There is nothing to talk about. They never give closure; all you will be doing is giving them an opportunity to feed off of you and manipulate you. Ok, so those are our tips but whatever the situation your priority should be to just get away from them. Excuse yourself to use the bathroom, make or call or just leave entirely to go somewhere else. Because the aim is to reduce physical contact as much as possible. What provides the least Narcissistic Supply?
And if you must communicate with them for whatever reason if you can limit it to written communication that would be ideal. Not only is this the worst or least form of fuel for a Narcissist but it allows you to compose something without emotion and ensure that you are not giving the Narcissist more information than necessary. The written word done correctly offers the least amount of supply possible. And the less physical and verbal interaction you can have with the Narcissist, the better.
But to conclude, ideally, one should aim to keep No Contact as solid as possible. Unfortunately, things don’t sometimes go to plan or because of prior commitments, we may have to endure with a Narcissist a bit longer. So, it is important to know how to manage them and not be used by them as a source of fuel. Ignoring a Narcissist is the next best option.
Because even though you still have to work with them, or see them when you are out and about, not acknowledging them really crushes their ego. When you can treat them like someone you don’t know or care to know it affects them terribly. But if no contact or ignoring is not an option just limit your exposure to them as much as possible.
No matter what relationship you had with them when you find out what you are dealing with, you can’t stay close to someone like that. Become standoffish with them. Grey rocks them. Avoid them.
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