Number 2: “You’re Starting to Act Cold Like Them”
You’re starting to act cold like them. When a narcissist says that, they’re not just insulting you; they’re exposing their fear. The moment you stop reacting, chasing, justifying every emotion, you remind them of someone who already figured them out. That “them” they’re referring to? It’s usually an ex, a sibling, a parent, or anyone who eventually saw through their act and walked away. So they throw that comparison at you like a curse. They want to trigger your guilt, make you feel like you’re becoming heartless, detached, or mean like them. But what they’re really doing is telling you who they could not control that ex they couldn’t stand, that friend who turned on them. That is code for someone who escaped. Now they see you’re doing the same pulling back, thinking for yourself, refusing to accept abuse. So they lump you in with the people they failed to dominate. Because you’re finally seeing what they saw, and that terrifies the narcissist. Deep down, they know exactly how the story ends, and that is what they do not want to happen again.
You may also want to read this:
Words That Destroy a Narcissist
9 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
Number 3: “Don’t You Forget Who You Were Before Me”
Don’t you forget who you were before me. This is the ultimate weaponization of your past. Narcissists love to play savior at first. They offer you support, maybe even some kind of escape, just enough to hook you. But that help always comes with strings, because later, they will hold it over your head like a loaded gun. When they say this, what they’re doing is reminding you of your lowest moments not to uplift you, but to shrink you. They want you to feel small, weak, but grateful.
They want you to question whether you would even be where you are without them. Because the minute you start recognizing your power, your growth, and your own worth, they lose control. So they drag you back to who you were when you first met them. Maybe you were heartbroken or financially unstable, maybe lost, and they positioned themselves as the one who built you back up. But they didn’t.
What they did was find you in a vulnerable state, like a predator, and attach themselves to your healing process so later they could claim it as their own. What happens to you? You start questioning whether your strength is yours. You hesitate before taking your next leap.
You feel guilty for even thinking about leaving the person who was “there for you.” That’s the trap. It keeps you emotionally in debt to someone who never actually saved you. They just made sure you never forgot that you were once broken.
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