Narcissism 101

10 Things A Narcissist Would Tell You If They Were Honest


If Narcissists were honest, they would struggle to have relationships. It would be near impossible for them to cause as much damage as they currently do. So, today’s topic, I will be addressing some of the things Narcissists are guilty of.

And that if they were upfront about who they are and what they are about many of us would have walked the other way. But let’s get into 10 facts about Narcissists and Narcissism and what a Narcissist would tell people upfront if they were honest.

Some of the traits or issues I’m going to talk about vary, meaning some are worse than others but it’s the complete package that makes Narcissists a walking nightmare. So, one of the first things a Narcissist would tell you if they were honest is:

1: “I lack empathy”

This basically means that they are unable to understand or care about the feelings of others. It means they cannot love you. They are incapable of being considerate of your feeling which means that they likely will take advantage of you and hurt you. Their lack of empathy makes them selfish and cruel and they view our empathy as a weakness.

2: “I have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.”

Narcissists think they are better than everyone else. They overestimate their own abilities and accomplishments. Also,they are filled with pride and look down their nose on others. They are not meek. They are not kind. No matter how much they try to convince you that they are deep down they despise you.

As a result, this leads to the Narcissist having double standards where Narcissists expect a high level of treatment, love, and respect but they will not do the same for you. Treat them the best you can but expect the worst in return.

3: “I need a lot of attention.”

Narcissists crave the spotlight. They want others to look up to them and even worship them. They want all the admiration, recognition, and praise. And they live for the complement and constant validation from others. Their excessive need for attention and constant validation is also why Narcissists cheat on their partners. They need numerous sources of supply to keep their tank full.

4: “Intimacy is something Narcissists feign.”

They struggle to have deep, meaningful relationships as they tend to view others as objects, tools that they can use. It is also due to their lack of empathy where apart from sexual intimacy there are no real bonds formed.

Therefore, narcissists are loyal to no one and people who are in a narcissistic relationship end up feeling quite alone as there is no togetherness. There is no peace. And as I discussed in this video you are better off having a relationship with an inanimate object than with a Narcissist.

5: “I am not Accountable.”

Narcissists do take accountability for their negative actions or shortcomings. They will blame whoever they can but it will never be their fault. They will not own up to their bad actions and they are very unlikely to apologize for any wrongdoing as they will not admit fault. And even if they do apologize it will not be genuine.

Narcissists refuse to accept that they are the ones in the wrong. So, if you are in a relationship with a Narcissist is it a parent, child, partner, friend, or work colleague don’t ever expect them to genuinely take ownership when they are the ones who have screwed up.

6: “I manipulate and exploit others.”

Narcissists are users. They would take whatever they can from you. They will suck you dry and then toss you aside. Whenever a Narcissist is interested in you it is because you have something they want. They do not care about you as a person only what you can do for them or give to them. Everything is off-balance in a Narcissistic relationship and the most important thing is that the Narcissist has the advantage. They have to be the ones benefiting the most.

7: “I have fragile Self-Esteem.”

Yes, despite their grandiosity they have a low sense of self-worth and are therefore quite petty and insecure. They hate correction and become super defensive when criticized. They hate having their faults pointed out or for anyone to disagree with them. Because if you disagree with them, it means there is a flaw in their argument or opinion. The Narcissist cannot handle that.

They want everything they say to just be accepted without any opposition. Their fragile ego cannot handle correction. So, if you dare to criticize anything they have said or done they will take it personally. They will not view it as constructive but rather as an attack and they will defend.

8: “I never forgive or forget.”

So, if you have ever offended a Narcissist, which as we have discovered, is not hard to do; they will hold it against you forever. They are very vengeful and will constantly be looking for new ways to punish you and no punishment is ever enough. The Narcissist never stops seeking revenge.

So, being close to a Narcissist is risky business because whatever you say and do will be used against you as they are actively looking to be offended. They want to justify their hatred towards you and their desire to see you suffer.

9: “I have an Addictive Personality.”

Narcissists are predisposed to developing addictions whether it is substance abuse, gambling, pornography, promiscuous sexual behavior. These are all different ways for them to seek excitement and validation. It is a way for them to escape their inner torments. The Narcissist`s focus is on feeling good. But these sorts of risky behaviors will not only hurt the Narcissist but those who are close to them.

10: “I am a Pathological Liar.”

But this is the very reason why they will not tell you any of these things. Narcissists are all about deception. They lie to others. They lie to themselves. Truth and a Narcissist do not mix and that is why they can never be honest. Their life is built on lies. Without their lies they are nothing and they will have no one. So, telling lies is essential to their success and survival.

But to conclude if Narcissists were honest their lives will not be anything near to what they want it to be. Many of them will probably end up isolated or alone. Their lies allow them to manipulate and control. And their lies allow them to impress and influence others.

Their lies are also a form of entertainment. It amuses them when people believe their lies. With all the lies they tell the truth has become their poison as I discussed in this video. The truth of who they are and what they are about will destroy what they have built.

Therefore, Narcissists will never be honest but at least we know from experience what they are capable of and what they are not capable of. So, it is up to us to avoid such people when we realize what we are dealing with.

Read More: 10 Signs A Narcissist Is Discarding You

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