Narcissism in relationships can cause lots of challenges and dating after narcissistic abuse or surviving narcissism can reveal deep codependency traits that might be just under the surface. Having a narcissist relationship or attracting narcissistic personality disorder relationships can be tough.
This is especially true if you’ve had an empath vs narcissist relationship or an empath-narcissist relationship. If you’re like most people, you’ve been drawn to a narcissist at some point in your life. Narcissists can be found in all walks of life, from the grocery store clerk who knows everything about you to your boss who never listens to you.
Narcissists don’t care about anyone but themselves. So, it’s critical to recognize them and protect yourself from their influence if you have one in your life. So, how do you stop attracting narcissists?
Here are 10 ways to stop attracting narcissists:
Number 1: Stop being too sensitive.
Don’t be so sensitive! Narcissists love people who are easily hurt and offended by things that don’t matter. It allows them to demonstrate their superiority by defending you or apologizing on behalf of another person who probably didn’t need an apology in the first place. Being vulnerable is a weakness for narcissists; this will allow them to exploit and attack you, and you will be better protected if you cease revealing your innermost thoughts and feelings.
The most excellent approach to disarm narcissists is to conceal your emotions when being criticized or insulted. If someone hurts your feelings, think about why it happened before reacting. If it wasn’t their fault, apologize for being overly sensitive.
Number 2: Stop giving them what they want.
The simplest way to avoid attracting narcissists is simply refusing to give them what they want, but this can be difficult because we don’t always know what our loved ones want from us or why they act the way they do. If you notice yourself doing something that makes someone else happy and unhappy, take a break from interacting with them. This is to figure out what’s going on beneath the surface of their behavior and make sure your actions don’t serve their needs. They may be a narcissist in your life that you don’t recognize it.
Set limits with narcissistic friends or family members. When they ask you for money, assistance, or anything else, you limit what they expect. If they push past those boundaries, which they will leave their relationship until they learn to respect other people’s boundaries.
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Number 3: Stop saying yes to everything.
Trying to say yes to everything would almost certainly leave you with no time or energy, leaving you unable to give your all to any of your responsibilities. Because a narcissist constantly seeks attention and praise, saying yes to everything is their cup of tea. When you say yes to everything they say or command you to do, you accept anything narcissists do to control you.
Begin by identifying the things you truly want to say yes to, and consider activities that help you create relationships with important people in your life. Things that match your values offer you joy and refrain from taking on duties that don’t meet those criteria. Know where you stand, no matter how difficult it is to set boundaries. And that can help you develop stronger relationships and free up time to do the things that matter to you.
Number 4: Stop putting others more than yourself.
Trying to please everyone causes anxiety and frustration. You may be concerned that putting yourself first will cause people to disrespect or disappoint you, but most people will not think less of you. Narcissists are self-centered individuals who require constant attention; anyone who can assist them in achieving their goals can be a potential victim. Most of the time, people will not do what you want them to do to you.
Narcissists genuinely believe that they are entitled to whatever they want or need. They also expect others to automatically accommodate their every desire and choice. Never deny your needs and always prioritize yourself who else are you hoping to do that for you?
Number 5: Stop trusting so easily.
Never put your trust in someone who does not believe in himself. Narcissists do not trust themselves because they have no concept of trust and have never felt it. Will you trust someone who does not respect love, or appreciate themselves? Narcissists have either fake or no empathy at all. How can you trust them if they aren’t sorry for making mistakes?
You should trust that narcissists only care about what they want and what they need from you. Know that time will reveal the truth and the true faces of people. Never fully commit to someone until you are sure of it, especially if they appear excellent and charming.
Number 6: Stop thinking negatively.
You attract what you think about, once you start thinking negatively, this might lead to more negativity, including negative people and outcomes. You mostly attract narcissists, for they also possess negativity within themselves. Many narcissists live with negative thoughts because that is the only way they have been taught. Narcissists don’t know how to deal with positivity because they have only seen negativity.
How can you stop narcissists from attracting you? Surround yourself with positive and genuine people. Concentrate on the positive aspects of life and express gratitude. A narcissist is constantly filled with hatred, shame, and anger toward himself and others. Remove yourself from that and your life will become much better.
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Number 7: Stop comparing yourself to others.
One of the ways that narcissists cope with their damaged self-esteem is by comparing themselves to others, and convincing themselves that they are superior and better. Comparing to others is often the root of many of their behaviors, such as belittling and discounting others.
Narcissists love people who don’t believe in themselves or control them. Thus, Cultivating a strong sense of self-worth is one of the best ways to avoid attracting narcissists. Stop thinking that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough to deserve more than you’re getting. Begin by reminding yourself of your worth and projecting that self-assurance outward. Narcissists will observe that you aren’t easily influenced and aren’t a good target.
Number 8: Stop settling for less than you deserve.
Do you realize how important you are? You understand that you are deserving of respect, dedication, devotion, and love. When we value ourselves and show the world we expect to be treated, we draw people to meet us. You deserve the best, and you don’t earn any manipulation and control from a narcissist.
Know that the right person will respect you and see it as a privilege. The right person will be inspired by your determination to honor your own needs and wants. Stop settling for less because you deserve more. Narcissists will not pay for someone like this for they only give less and ask for more.
Number 9: Stop seeing red flags as green flags.
If only what you saw was really what you got. In the situations of narcissists, personalities change significantly depending on the situation. A narcissistic red flag to consider is how they treat others privately. While they may be constantly respectful and charming in public, They are constantly abusive and demeaning. You may experience the love bombing stage and consider that as a green flag, and you may be even isolated from friends and family, thinking that spending time with them will be better.
Assess more about the behaviors people share with you, either publicly or privately. Well, it’s easy to dismiss red flags, especially when a person appears so well to others; trust your instincts and act. A healthier relationship will not feel that something is wrong even if you believe there is.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Number 10: Stop blaming yourself, love yourself more.
One of the most heartbreaking stories of staying with narcissists is that they eventually blame and hate themselves. keep your sense of self intact and start thinking about how amazing you are. We’ve all had moments when we think we’ve got it all figured out, and our minds race with negative self-talk again. The best thing you can do is try to catch yourself and remind yourself why you are fantastic. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses to be kinder to yourself (instead of focusing on only one).
Get to know yourself, who are you? What is most important to you? What are your life priorities? What motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? Why do you enjoy what you do? When you know what you want, you know who you are. When you live yourself more and stand up for yourself, you don’t attract narcissists, for they don’t love themselves in the first place.
There’s no denying that narcissists can cause conflict and problems in relationships, so it’s essential to understand what attracts them. This way, You can focus on improving those things and avoiding similar pitfalls. You need to focus on improving your self-image and emotional state. Reduce the shame in your life, practice kindness towards yourself and others, and strive for authenticity.
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