When it comes to Cruelty and manipulation, is there a Breaking Point for narcissists? How far do you think this is the case? How to stay one step ahead of them, so you no longer feel threatened or dominated? I really hope this article helps clarify things for you and addresses all your concerns.
So, there are 5 tried and true ways to shine brighter than a narcissist in any conversation, and we’ll go through them in today’s topic. Read to the end, because the last one is the most interesting and important.
Number 1: Stop projecting your own ideals into the narcissist and start focusing on their actual characteristics.
The biggest trap is a struggle to reconcile the narcissist’s presence throughout good and sorrowful times. There’s this internal struggle: you know a narcissist is bad, but you can’t help but be drawn to them for the temporary relief they promise from your constant pain. You keep justifying the narcissistic behavior due to cognitive and emotional dissonance, and you cling to what I would consider hopeless due to a lack of other options.
You presume that they are good people at heart despite their poor Behavior. I think you’re completely misunderstanding the point. There’s a risk that you’ll give them more opportunities than they deserve, giving in to their manipulation and unknowingly engaging in gaslighting. It’s not a wise way to think when you’re co-parenting or in a secret code war with another parent.
When you stop expecting them to fit some idealistic picture of yourself or the relationship, the spell will be broken. Friendship, teamwork, open communication, and regard for all concepts they see no use in because they don’t believe they can build upon or add to anything.
They are blind to the possibilities here. All the work put into making good on this promise would be in vain, given who they have proven to be. The person you saw when their Dark Side shocked and stunned you as the true one. Put distance between you and the situation and look for patterns in the way they interact. Indulge your enjoyment of life.
Seeing how they went from angels to Demons in an effort to keep you connected to them, and how every happy memory of your time together was stained by their abuse. While coming to terms with reality may be difficult, it will ultimately lead to liberation. After you’ve established that they’re a malicious force, you’ll always be on stronger ground.
Don’t be fooled by their kind attitude. You can count on them to display the same callousness right in front of your kids. And In the Heat of a code conflict, they may resort to extreme measures. The more you are able to accept them for who they really are, the more control you will have in the relationship, and the more you will be able to handle everything they throw at you.
Don’t forget that once you identify the narcissist, they can no longer harm you. As an aside, a phenomenon called cognitive resonance occurs in tandem with trauma bonding and dramatic experiences.
Number 2: Respond to the narcissist but not engage with them.
You are completely capable of handling this. You may protect yourself from emotional manipulation by understanding the other person’s motivations, and the advantage they stand to make from doing so. Once you make the connection and start responding rather than reacting, the narcissist will no longer enjoy provoking you.
Reading a narcissist’s spiteful message in which they lay all the blame on you and make you feel responsible for their troubles is one example of this. Your response should be to become the provider they’re looking for. You feel compelled to offer an explanation for your actions because they insist on it. This is how you get lured even deeper into the vortex. Instead, if you were replying, you’d scan the message for the most relevant details.
For instance, you may choose to respond to one parent’s text message- solely if it affects the children’s pickup and drop-off hours while ignoring the other and archiving their texts as proof in the event of a dispute.
You owe it to yourself to cultivate emotional control and logical decision-making. When communicating with a narcissist, it’s best not to rely solely on your emotions. Consider your intelligence as a map that will never be lost. For a more narcissistic boost, try connecting with your feelings. Mastering emotion regulation will make you a narcissist’s worst nightmare.
Number 3: Set limits that are both visible and firmly anchored.
Not having any limits is the same as killing yourself. I understand how challenging it is to set limits with a narcissist, but it is in your best interest to do so. You need to do everything it takes to reign in this wild animal. Your antagonist is a narcissist who also happens to be a jerk and an asshole; because if you get into them, they will expand the centimeter into a meter.
If you give them an inch, they’ll fill it with something else. If they can’t respect your space, keep making it clear that you won’t give it up easily. You’re laying the groundwork for a lot of pain in your own life. You can’t rely on them to respect your majesty. Don’t waste your time expecting anything from a narcissist. If you decide to visit, it is up to your own discretion, and the safety of your children.
They will consistently turn out each day of the week without regard for anyone or anything else. They will return to your house as if nothing has changed, making themselves at home and treating you as they did before. Determine the root cause of your inability to establish limits and work from there.
The only way to effectively say “no,” and keep the narcissist away, is to identify and address the underlying cause of your inability to do so. Also, if possible, establish boundaries to make it clear what sorts of conduct you will and will not tolerate. For bad behavior, make them pay the price.
Try not to be too precious about efficiency. In this case, forgiveness is completely out of the question. If you’re divorcing and sharing custody of your children, make sure they know how to reach you and how often they can see the kids.
Number 4: Don’t fall for their bait.
This narcissist is really amplifying the blame game. Because it satisfies their need for superiority, they avoid responsibilities and make other people feel responsible for problems they don’t want to manage. Try not to take it personally when narcissists blame you. Try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t upset you as a means of rejection and deflection.
The truths they conceal in their projects are exposed. If they can shift the responsibility away from themselves and home to you, it will help them feel better about themselves. That’s a major cause for concern all by itself. They may not even bother to listen to your side of the story before jumping to conclusions about your parenting skills and techniques, or even making stuff up to make you look terrible.
Prove them wrong by putting an emphasis on raising responsible children. Let them say whatever is on their mind, because they have nothing to contribute. Here’s a different perspective on things. If someone is emotionally distant, and has a strong sense of self, why would you listen to what they have to say?
Their perception of you is totally based on their own biases and assumptions, making it highly inaccurate. Even though they deny it, you know who they are on the inside. This elaborates on the first point, which is to accept them as they already are. You’ll be able to chuckle at their expense once you’ve defeated them.
Number 5: Employ their vulnerabilities as a source of strength.
To see the narcissist for what he or she really is, detach yourself emotionally and objectively and watch his or her predictable, repeating actions. If you can control your feelings long enough to study a narcissist objectively, you will be able to anticipate their reactions and triggers with uncanny accuracy.
You might even be able to condition some of their behavior if you can achieve what I just listed. And you need not actively seek out narcissism to be one though; you need to because you have to. Could you use anything as a weapon to stop them from torturing you? Take advantage of their insecurities, such as their need to present a perfect image to the world.
Find out what it is they want from you and figure out how to provide it to them, while still getting what you need. What I have in mind is a slow trickle of liquid. Get their cooperation by appealing to their base or motivations- and the need for instant gratification.
Everything is possible, but only with careful preparation. How likely it is that someone would label me a narcissist if I did this? Perhaps, but not necessarily, you’re only being friendly and don’t mean any harm. It’s only a safety measure to take in case the worst should happen.
To be clear, you aren’t actually hurting them. Realizing the truth put, another way, is the key to freedom. Strengthen your mental and emotional resolve. Don’t let them torture you; instead, play off of what they are good at and use it against them.
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