In today’s article, we’ll be covering today all have one thing in common – to what extent do narcissists often resort when their strategies fail? When you have them exactly where you want them to be once they have been revealed completely, what happens when a narcissist loses control of their loved one?
Number 1: Narcissists have an extreme preoccupation with their own feelings and the approval of others, and they have difficulty taking criticism well.
They struggle to empathize and may resort to manipulative behavior as a result. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there and done that – not quite extreme, but probably to a certain point. On the other hand, we see that these traits remain constant in those with pathological narcissism. It’s their state of being. Due to their vengeful nature, it is reasonable for them to fear the consequences when their secret is revealed.
In terms of their behavior, they are generally difficult to predict. However, it’s not hard to predict how a narcissist would act after feeling they’ve lost influence over you if you’ve ever had a platonic connection with one or were raised in a narcissistic family. Because narcissists place such a high value on other people’s praise and approval, this is to be expected.
They have no concept of self-identity and hence have no comprehension of the world. They will resort to bullying, threatening, intimidating, and humiliating people into giving them what they seek – attention and affirmation on their terms, which can be unrealistic. Their minds are always plagued by feelings of envy and shame, and the strangest part is that they often engage in repulsive actions to cover up their feeling and shame.
People who are cruel to others by disregard, rejection, punishment, infidelity, derision, etc. usually end up on their own. This is what happens to many narcissists. They always end up on their own because of their nasty behaviors. This means that they have a limited repertoire of responses to use when they lose control over someone.
They may even try to reconcile with you in person – they certainly are, but maybe not in terms of the harm they’ve caused. Mostly, they’re sorry because of what they face at the moment – the fact that they’ve lost a valuable narcissistic supply. They’re sorry for the fact that they’re all alone again, being abandoned. They feel ashamed that now they’re exposed.
An alternative is to provide an explanation before offering an apology, such as “It’s not me, it’s my anxiousness,” “The fact that our mill is out of my control,” or “I’m unable to regulate my actions because of my addiction to this substance. Please accept my apologies.” After all, you also said something that deeply hurt me years ago. Things may go around that line. Unfortunately, most apologies are forgotten after a short period of time has passed, whether it is one day or one week. They’d go back to their old self.
Narcissists tend to revert to their previous behavior patterns. Exceptionally talented narcissists don’t have trouble changing their gameplay. They simply discover novel approaches to old problems – the same thing, only a different setup. They can act as if they’re trying to reason with you rather than apologize. Just picture this person taking the gray rock approach where they just answer inquiries with a single word or the no contact approach where they simply stop answering queries.
Sending a text or email with the message “I’ve no idea what I’ve done to hurt you, but I’ll always love you” is a common manner of expressing regret for past wrongdoings and assuring the recipient of one’s eternal love. In such a situation, you can probably anticipate a lot of jumbled words followed by a threat like “and I’m going to let other people know what you’re like,” but still, I want you to know that my feelings for you will never change.
If you do receive such a message, or if you do receive an apology, pleading, or tears, perhaps you are contemplating giving them another chance. I won’t talk you out of it, but I will ask you to think about drawing on your experience. I mean, how many times can they say sorry before you stop listening? Perhaps it wasn’t a large sum, but how many were there? So, the negative behavior ended after the apologies were issued, correct? Since this has always been the case before, why should this time be any different?
Number 2: Narcissists almost never apologize when they’ve been discovered lying.
They will not admit their destructive behavior to you or anyone else, so they can’t or will not recognize their own inadequacies, misjudgments, mistakes, or limits, even to themselves. Rather, there are typically many false allegations. They’d alter what you’ve said or done or claim that you did or said things you never did or uttered.
They create alternate stories that make people misinterpret you and your intentions. Your partner may have perfected the art of manipulation and gaslighting if you’ve been together for some time. If it appears that other people believe them too, you can start to question your own sanity. Covert narcissists may appear modest and contrite to onlookers, yet their true feelings of superiority to others may not be hidden at all.
Number 3: They may reach out to others you know outside of the relationship to show their true care for them after a breakup if they haven’t previously.
To the narcissist, making sure the people around you are under their control is of utmost significance. Saying that they haven’t heard from them in quite some time, that they’re worried about them, or that they suddenly developed a strong preference for something related to them, they’ll join up with the team and quickly become fast friends with everyone else in that group.
It’s possible they’ll try to get in touch with them personally by sending cards, calling, or inviting them out to dinner. The narcissist wants to show that, despite their first impressions, they are honorable people deserving of respect. In addition, this offers numerous advantageous outcomes to the narcissist. The goal is to recruit flying monkeys or reliable friends and family members of the victim to act as informants.
They make use of these people to watch over you in order to learn pertinent details about you. Shortly, its main purpose is to scare the victim into submission or to make sure the victim is still under their control, letting the victim stay in a dangerous situation where they can do more harm.
It’s an adaptive response that allows narcissist to manage their own perceptions of the circumstance, as well as the perceptions of those around them. Narcissism is corrosive because it first eats away at a person or thing from the inside, and then, if that fails, it tries to destroy it from the outside.
Number 4: They will project onto their victims to get their victims to accept responsibility for their poor behavior.
They often resorted to emotionally blackmailing them. A narcissist who has just lost a significant other or close friend may try to use their grief, shame, “And humiliation to gain sympathy. That takes a lot of guts. For sure, they will resort to any means necessary in order to attempt to manipulate the victim’s emotional side and elicit feelings of pity and sympathy for themselves at the expense of the victim.
They will not stop pleading, crying, begging, whining, being angry, etc. until the victim apologizes for how they feel about the treatment they received. When referring to a similar incident, I often say they wet the bed and blamed the blanket.
Number 5: They’re getting mean and petty.
It’s like everything is your fault in the narcissist’s mind. They say, “How dare you try to see through me? How dare you want to stop putting up with my antics?” Keep in mind that narcissists think everything is about them and what they did to their victims is because they deserve it. They deserve the worst treatment possible if need be. Certain people are predisposed to destructive or aggressive behavior.
They could spread damaging rumors. It’s possible that they’re purposefully withholding data, assets, and information that they think will give them back power and control over their victims. That they have a responsibility to set an example for their victims.
Number 6: If they cannot maintain their deception, control, or threat, they may try to form a trauma bond.
A victim of a narcissist may begin to believe that the narcissist’s pattern of poisonous behavior is no longer hurtful because it has become ordinary. One who is emotionally abused may appear to an outsider to be completely dependent on the narcissist. Perhaps they are financially dependent or may be emotionally dependent.
Having a child, for example, means they’re likely to spend a lot of time together. Perhaps they have developed an unhealthy reliance on their abuser and will never be able to break free. It’s possible that the issue is of a physical nature, such as a health problem. The narcissist will attempt to form a trauma bond, a link based on a shared traumatic experience, even if one did not previously exist.
If it was already there, they would fortify it in any way possible, doing anything they could to make it extremely difficult for the victim to exercise any independence or flee. A narcissist who believes they are losing control over someone may exhibit the aforementioned actions and personality traits.
Read More: What Happens When You Hurt The Narcissist’s Ego?
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